turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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