Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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