Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
