I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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