So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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