A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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