i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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