what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
