Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
