i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
