There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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