69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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