I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
