I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
