but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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