pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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