at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
