i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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