Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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