i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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