I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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