Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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