just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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