My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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