A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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