is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
