I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize