I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
