but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she told me i tasted like america
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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