he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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