Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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