i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize