Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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