I am in a vortex of obligation.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
