i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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