Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
