I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
