if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
