Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
