It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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