do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize