my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
