Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
