That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
