Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
