you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
