yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
