I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
