I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
