I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
