I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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