He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
