Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
