If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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