you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
