He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
