I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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