SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
