Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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