I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I believe in your delicious
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
