He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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