but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
