I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
