How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize