the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
