If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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